Reclaiming Joy: The Truth about the Superwoman Syndrome (replay)

Here is one of our Vault Favorites.  Ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders as you juggle being the perfect employee, wife, mom and friend? You may be caught in the web of the Superwoman Syndrome, a gripping reality for many women today! Drawing inspiration from Dr. Tansmin Batia's enlightening book, Superwoman Syndrome Rx, we delve into the truth behind this modern-day phenomenon and its impact on our lives.

The episode peels back the layers of the Superwoman Syndrome, diving into categories like Boss Lady, Savvy Chick, Earth Mama, Night in Kale, and Gypsy Girl. We tackle traditional gender roles and their influence on our daily existence. A particular emphasis is placed on the male perspective, exploring their reactions when they step into roles traditionally held by women. But it's not all gloom and doom! We also embark on an empowering journey of self-care and boundary-setting. Hint: the power of saying 'no' is monumental!

We end our discussion with a blueprint for breaking free from this relentless cycle. Embodying the art of letting go, we underline the need to put ourselves first, a vital yet often neglected aspect of our lives. We explore how prioritizing our needs can lead to a more centered and fulfilled life. So ladies, are you ready to unmask your Superwoman Syndrome and reclaim your joy? Tune in to this eye-opening episode and let's smash those shackles together!

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Transcript

Reka: 0:00

The distance between your dreams and reality is called action. How you survive through life takes more than motivation. You gotta grind. Most days I'm humble, some days I struggle, but every day I what is up. This is your girl, rika. Welcome to Eat Laugh Hustle, where we give you tools, tips and strategies to refuel and refocus your mind. Y'all ready for some real conversations? Let's get into it. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Eat Laugh Hustle. This is your girl, rika.

Reka: 0:35

Happy Fridays Eve. What's going on? Good people, how was your week? My week was amazing, kind of sorta. I was in that gym grinding One day at a time, my meal plan. You know how that go, but overall I think it was pretty good. I know a lot of people out here doing their holiday shopping and you know I was just trying to stay out of everybody's way Because you know your girl is not in a rush to do anything for real this week. I thought it would be a great time to discuss the Superwoman Syndrome, since we're about to go into this new year and you know, like every other week, your girl got a book for you. This book this week is called the Superwoman Syndrome Rx. It's by Dr Tansmin Batia.

Reka: 1:28

This author breaks down the Superwoman Syndrome into five categories Boss lady, savvy chick, earth mama, night in kale, gypsy girl. Now, the best part of this, just like the love languages, there's a quiz that shows you which category you fall in. So let's look at these five categories. Boss lady, most of the patients that she interviewed were known for their intelligence and their web. These ladies were prone to IBS, reflux, constipation, joint pain, insomnia and acne. Hmm, savvy chick, she describes them as artists, commander in chief, tight, but when they're out of balance, she cautious their medical challenges to be anxiety, migraines, ibs, muscle tension, insomnia. Earth mama was caring and compassionate, she said. The earth mamas were natural caregivers but often put their needs last, which caused weight gain, depression, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and hypertension. The night in kale they were motivated by the constant selflessness and a sense of service. But these women often were longing for a change to improve the world in some big or small way. They suffered from like immune system allergies, insomnia and hormone imbalances. The gypsy girls that were imaginative, creative, expansive gypsy girls. They spent a lot of time being in a creative space. Their common conditions were anxiety, fatigue, hair loss, miss cycles and insomnia.

Reka: 3:06

Another thing I like was that it's based on whatever phase you are in your life. But let's just keep it real. When we think of superwoman, the first image in your mind is going to be what? The cartoon character. You know. We always have this beautiful image of just this woman handling business, taking care of business, taking charge in charge, just doing it right. But nobody ever speaks to the bad side of being a superwoman. We always want to dress it up, make it look good and, you know, make it look pretty. But in all actuality it does take a toll on you, and I don't care how cute you are, how in shape you are, how you know, on top of your game you are, at a certain point being a superwoman begins to affect you internally, mentally and physically, spiritually too, if we just want to be all the way real, it's like you feel disconnected. At a certain point you don't know whether you are living your purpose driven life, or are you just going through the motions, or is it just? You just can't handle life, and that, to me, is a syndrome, is a cycle that needs to be broken. But how do we break that?

Reka: 4:29

For me, I had to dig deep, and so I sat down and I went through a reflection period. I will tell you, I can pinpoint the exact moment when I knew that something was affecting me, but I didn't know what to call it. The first time was I was about to graduate high school. I found out that I didn't have enough credits to graduate. I ended up going to night school. I was also working like a job as a telemarketer, and then I was going to regular school. So when it was time for me to do this thing of college, I was like mm-mm, I don't want to do it, I'd rather go see the world. That's how I joined the Navy. It wasn't this whole, you know people. Oh, I want to serve my country. It was very just. No, I want to go travel and see the world, and I did so.

Reka: 5:21

Then I began to reflect a little bit more. I went back to my childhood and this topic really made me dig deep. You know, I really wanted to know how did I develop the syndrome, and was there other women in my life that I saw operating in one of these categories? As a child, I experienced two distinct parallels. I had the alcoholic mother who rather drank and party than take care of me, to the point. I ended up in a foster home for years. Then I had my aunt who was like a second mom to me, who rescued me out of that foster home, out of the system. But I saw her work, a steady job, you know. She provided for me and her two kids. Sometimes it was two jobs, but I will tell you I never wanted for anything as a kid. It wasn't really until I got older that I saw the toll that it took on her. It made me revisit some of those questions that I had when I was a kid, like why didn't I participate in extracurricular things? Was it money or was it? She's just simply couldn't afford the time for me to go.

Reka: 6:34

And now that I have my own kids and I'm doing this run around and you know I'm a professional, my husband is working, I'm working and kids are in various activities because now we want them to go out and achieve their dreams. It's like man, why didn't that ever happen for me? And it goes back to this Super Womens Syndrome. Something has to give in our lives. What are we letting fall by the wayside so we can maintain in other areas of your life? And that's a question only you can answer For me.

Reka: 7:10

I always had to balance the is it for me or is it for the kids? And so I would sacrifice self just so that my kids could be all right, because I never wanted my kids to grow up and say, oh well, I never had the opportunity or I wish I could or should have, type. We always want our kids to have more and do better than what we had or did. That's the honest to God truth. So now that I just sit back and I'm revisiting and having some of these conversations with myself, I don't think it's fair that I hold that against, not even my alcoholic mother, who just didn't know how to love me the way I needed to be loved. Is that her fault? I don't know. Do I know that it made me a better mom? Absolutely. Did it make me a better human? Absolutely. I know what it's like to eat out a garbage can I know what it's like to be in a stranger's home and not feel like I'm part of this family as a kid. I also know joy and love of being around family. So I'm just telling you, it made me into who I am today.

Reka: 8:23

One of the things that I don't remember talking about was self-care. We never had the discussion in my house. Mental health was never a discussion in our house, and I wondered why Because God knows that even then, women needed to have self-care but they just didn't have time and why Nobody sat down and told me look, when you're feeling weak, this is what you do. Right, and I think it goes beyond just running to church. When I was younger, church was the place where we kind of escaped and we prayed and we danced and had this worship. But when we left there, how did we get through the week when we were just feeling empty inside? How do we express emptiness? I didn't learn self-care until I was in the military, and mental health was something that they taught and that's something that now I teach my kids.

Reka: 9:24

At the end of the day, when we start thinking about the Superwoman syndrome and evaluate all the roles and responsibilities in your life and begin to prune yourself For 2020, it is the year of breakthrough. Embrace it. Prune yourself to the point where you get rid of the things that swing you down, whether it be people, job, relationships, tasks, whatever it is. Prune yourself. Make sure that you're going into 2020 light ready to bloom. I don't know other way to go into 2020 other than feeling like I'm ready to have my best year.

Reka: 10:08

So the book is SuperwomanRx. There's a quiz that you can take to find out which category you in. So take the quiz, find out. Ladies, I want you guys to stick with me. I'm gonna bring a couple of girlfriends in as we get into our lipstick and lace segment. ["lipstick and Lace Segment"]. Welcome back to Eat Laugh Hustle. This is your girl, rika. We are in our lipstick and lace segment, where we are talking about the Superwoman syndrome. Today, I have back my two favorite people in the whole white world. We got D-Rock. Y'all already know who she is and if you don't, you need to go back and listen to last week's episode, the previous one. But her name is Danita and you know we got same Gria Steph. We gonna find out what's up in her cup this week, but, as always, let's get into it. What's up, ladies? Hello?

Stefanie: 11:13

hello, hello. How are you Rika?

Reka: 11:16

Hey, it has been an amazing week. Y'all know I'm on this new like 30 day transformation so I'm totally into like cooking the meals, meal prepping and, you know, working out Lost my little six pounds. So you know I'm up in here feeling myself.

Stefanie: 11:34

Hey, I'm saying, I'm saying that's good work. I'm like I need to get up on this asex.

Reka: 11:38

Hey, they told me that I can win a $250 gift card.

Stefanie: 11:50

I was gonna say you know that stuff's please. That is her favorite place in the world. They think she works at Target, but she is not right be telling people what I'll certain they almost got a job there, almost what that was gonna be a side hustle.

Danita: 12:04

Yes, I'm just been the whole paycheck, though Today we're sipping on some rose, rose a all day.

Reka: 12:12

Well, I'm over here with this. It's clear. Yeah, it ain't so, killer, we don't call it water.

Stefanie: 12:26

And I have the fresco by Corona, by far the best, the healthy one, coconut.

Reka: 12:30

I cannot wait. I'm such an emotional eater. At the end of this, all I want is a good ol margarine.

Stefanie: 12:40

I prefer vodka. I.

Danita: 12:42

Don't turn down anything.

Reka: 12:48

So we were talking about the super woman syndrome when we started looking at this. They say that the modern woman often is juggling multiple worlds. They're professionals, their mothers, their spouses, homemakers, their coaches, they're doing all these extracurricular activities for the kids and then, on top of all of that, you're supposed to look perfectly composed, like you are not affected, and half the time we end up feeling like we're this superhuman, or people look to us as the superhuman and I just wonder Do they look at men the same way? I struggle with that. Why is it this expectation that's kind of put on us assume all of these roles and I don't necessarily know that men are.

Stefanie: 13:31

I think it depends on the home situation and sometimes how we were raised and how we do things, so like I know for myself that I've always. I'm the oldest sibling of my siblings and I'm my parents first born, so Responsibility and always having to get things done was always there in me. And then I married my husband who honestly of him and his Brothers and his cousins, who are all raised together also come from a dominant male group of having to get things done.

Reka: 13:58

But once we got married we kind of fall into these rules of traditional which I struggle with daily well, steph, I'll let you answer it, and then we'll get back to the gender roles or those traditional roles in the household.

Danita: 14:10

I think we all know that we don't see the work that women do and the work that men do equally. I mean, for the simple fact of no one tells a mom, oh, you're babysitting your kids today. You can tell to a dad, oh, you babysit in the day, like no, he's parenting, like that's one of his jobs. It is not just you know, working wherever he works, like it's working where he works and parenting, just like mine is working where I work and parenting. I don't babysit my kids and he doesn't babysit his. But I think just even that whole little distinction lets you know that the expectations on women versus men right there, without one simple say.

Stefanie: 14:47

It's funny that stuff said that because I remember when the girls were younger I worked a lot in the early years of my career and Transportation, so in the same career, just a lot more relaxed. But in earlier years I missed a lot of doctors appointments, things that were necessities and I had a husband so he would go and people's response would be like so you trust what he's going to tell you or his response, and initially it was hard but I had to realize I had to let go of that.

Reka: 15:12

I need to do everything and let him be a parent been married for a while and it wasn't, so you know I moved here and that I really start noticing Just how exhausted I was trying to balance it all and it does it happens, because I don't know if it's culturally.

Reka: 15:30

It's how we brought up that women is supposed to, you know, do these certain things in the house and run these certain things in the house that it began to just affect me Mentally and physically. I can tell you, so like I remember today that I stopped cooking dinner. Every day, typically that's what I was doing. I was coming home, I was working. You know, both of us were dual military, so he was working all days.

Reka: 15:59

His days started a lot earlier than mine and mine were a little lat. You know we were still working those four-hour days. I was still working out. Still, it was PTN, I was still in leadership roles, so I still counseling people. And then you know, we have three kids and he would come home, take boots off, turn on Wolf Blitzer and be like what's for dinner? That happened for so long and I think after a year of him having that duty and us kind of going back and forth like that, one day I was so fed up I was in my pajamas. I looked across from him on the couch. I said I don't know what's for dinner. And you know he looked at me. He was just like well, I what we have down there. I was like I don't know what we have down there. The same point is, him down there was like well, I think I'm just gonna go ahead and order a pizza If that sound good to me. Another problem women have an issue with is control.

Reka: 16:51

That we want to be in control of everything, we want to have our saying everything, and I know for me I am learning that, honey, just because it's not done your way doesn't mean that it's not gonna get done. Yeah and that's another thing we struggle with is timeline.

Danita: 17:07

Yeah, I have a unique situation too, because you went from being a single mom to being married, traditional nuclear family and now your single mom during the week, wife, mom on the weekend, and it is that like exchange of like these are my jobs these days. This is what my jobs were. How things change, just like how I, you know, newly separated. I noticed that you know, my estranged husband has difficulty being fun dad and being provider dad. And I think when you look at even going back to last week's episode about sex drive, when you really start to think about as when, how many balls women have any air at the same time, how were moms, were employees, were Houses, were trying to be sexy, trying to be responsible, trying to be fun, all those balls in the air, something's gonna give and it becomes that stressful situation when it's like what are we sacrificing?

Danita: 18:11

and a lot of times we sacrifice being fun and spontaneous that we used to be. We sacrifice being sexy because we're just so tired. You ever have a day when you're like I have nothing to do and in your mind You're like there's probably something there, I'm just neglecting a duty.

Reka: 18:30

Right.

Stefanie: 18:31

Absolutely.

Reka: 18:32

So for me, I didn't realize that I was going 100 and 1000% until I retired, when I was able to kind of sit down and be in my own space and I mean, this is when the kids started back school and I was like with a cup of coffee, because you know it's always warm in Texas and I'm in my pajama, I'm up in the front yard looking at the trees, like, hey, that is a beautiful tree man, look how the tree contrasts against the sky. Like you know, it was just so much. But to your point, we do, we begin to neglect self. When we neglect self, we're not feeling sexy. They still want us to toot it, boot it, put it through the leg, you know, split on it, let me get it real quick. And you're like, uh no, and then here comes the weight gain, and then you go into that thing of weight loss and then you go to this heavy. Oh, I'm a restrict, restrict, restrict myself just for this short period of time. It's just a cycle that that has to be broken.

Stefanie: 19:35

Yeah, yeah, most definitely.

Stefanie: 19:37

That's one of the things I found out with over the years.

Stefanie: 19:40

In my younger years I was able to balance a lot of things when I was smaller because a part of it was my husband was unemployed and as a dad and as a male being raised, having to know he knew how to cook, he understood that gender role, like he understood filling the role and the need of the household, was important and he did that and did it well.

Stefanie: 19:58

But even now that everybody is working, the kids are busy, we're really busy. I'm getting ready to spend the next three days on the road after I work 40, 50 hours a week with my kids. You know, a lot of times for me it plays right into, like my physical health, and finding balance to deal with everybody individually is really tough and I was even thinking today at work I need to figure out how to squeeze this gym in and if I could figure out two days a week, then I will be superior in what I do for two days a week at two hours. That's four hours a week and that's all I'm looking to do and I'm like I don't even know if it's possible in this season.

Reka: 20:34

Okay, so you're working like those 40, you know, 50 hours a week. Now most jobs or most corporations, they're trying to build that health plan in because number one it's lowering your insurance rates for the company and what they have to pay out. So now they're establishing those fitness programs and those fitness initiatives. So those are some of the things that I try to encourage, like, hey, if y'all don't have a robust like fitness, health, nutritious, wellness program at your job, that's something to bring up to your manager. Look, y'all going to have to comp me 40 minutes or an hour. At least you know that you can go put on an audio book, just very like disconnect. We don't even take time to do that anymore.

Stefanie: 21:18

Yeah, you're right. I mean, health is important and it is hard to balance your health with a family and all the things that you want to do, and then you do neglect stuff, and it's not intentional For me. It's not intentional, just something that has happened because I've always put everybody in front of me. I don't even know why I'm like that. I don't know what to do with me being an older child, an older sibling, and that's how it's always been. I think that's a part of it and this is who I've been for a very long time.

Reka: 21:42

It could be that, but then it's the plight of the black woman. It's like we have to be everything to everyone, and I'm not saying that other women don't, you know, have those same struggles. It's just that when we are in certain rooms we have to show up a different way. So at what point do we just get to be ourselves? Let me tell you what I used to hate All vacation. Oh, you look tired.

Danita: 22:09

When somebody's tired.

Reka: 22:10

That is just a fine way to tell me that I look like she Do you look bad.

Danita: 22:14

Yeah, that's me.

Stefanie: 22:15

First of all, when a woman talks to me, I don't give a damn what race she is, I, my response is bitch. And what the fuck do you think you look like? Yeah, I'm like, seriously Like what is it Like?

Danita: 22:27

you know I work light shifts. I got, listen. I got my little, my little eye brightening eyeliner I put on the bottom. I'm like look at the light down there. You don't see my bags Because you know, like I got, I'm about to be somewhere tomorrow. Let me put this, um, these mask on my bag so you don't look so bad. You know, people tell me I look good and I've been like man. Y'all see it unbalanced. It's a really good job this time. And we were just talking like I don't do makeup well, and listen, I just do enough cover. Look away and look like my weekend's been as hard as it's been.

Stefanie: 22:56

Throughout the year I've been in several events and when I look at, go back and look at my pictures, like, and even when I put some people, hell, where were you at? Hell, you look nice. Yeah, I look totally different than I look during the week, monday through Friday. I actually took the time to get myself together where, monday through Friday or basically you know, whatever your work schedule is I look like shit. Like I know that I look like shit because I just don't. So like I want to put that extra time in where the backlash of it is all this running around. I need rest.

Reka: 23:23

We're in this area in our life where we know that the struggle is real. Far as balancing, you know what is one tip you can give that would say okay, you should do this for yourself. This is what I would say is write it down, don't cut corners on yourself. Yeah, I would. I would agree. We will leave ourselves to be last when we should be putting ourselves first on our to-do, and I don't know why that is. I don't care if you wake up in the morning. It should just be a brief moment where, before you start interacting with anybody, that you kind of center yourself. Yeah, I start my day with just centering myself. For that first 10, 15 minutes I lay in my bed with the lights out, I'll cut on my phone, I'll read something real quick just to center me and then I go out for my day. What about you all? What y'all?

Stefanie: 24:10

do. I normally take my 10 minutes into the bathroom and I just sit there and I just stare at the wall and I just sit Like I really just sit there and just think of like another day, what do we have to do, and I actually start to think about the process of the day and hope that my husband at least cooks dinner tonight.

Reka: 24:29

That's really what I think about. I think what was so funny because I think we all do this is retreat to the bathroom. I think that's our safe haven. But let me tell you what I end up doing. My vision board actually sits on the back of my wall. You know how you like, open up the door, that wall, that's where my vision board is. So while I'm sitting there like I'm reading, I have like different things, different quotes. I see the things that I want to do, the things I want to accomplish, things I said I want to do, and every time I go to the bathroom I shut the door. I look up. It's almost like a reminder for myself, like that's right, that's why I'm doing this. You know what I mean.

Reka: 25:09

Even with me just drinking water, it's like bitch, you want to win this, whatever? This little $250 gift card? Yes, I do. And I want to snatch the waste, like I got that on my vision board. So I leave a body there. I'm like, you know, little pep in my step, just a little bit. But I mean that's just something that I thought was hilarious when you was like and I go to the bathroom.

Danita: 25:29

Yeah, I will tell you, being like a night shift worker and then being a nurse working three days a week, I get the benefit of having most of my days during the week it's I'm home by myself. But I had to recently tell someone a couple of days ago, like remember that no can be a sentence. You don't have to give an explanation of why you don't want to do something, you can just say no. I've learned that sometimes when I think I'm being selfish and being about myself, it's been making me a better mother. The more I take care of me and refill my stores, the more I can pour into everything else in my life.

Stefanie: 26:06

So every now and again I might call off and work, and it's funny that my husband, the kids, my grandma are you sick? No, I'm not sick, I just need a day to go get my nose done, my feet done and my hair done. And what I've learned over the years I've been living in a house where my grandma is. All these years she's always been here for her hair, her feet, her nose, and I never thought about that. I never thought about it being included in my finances, but it's a must have for me to do the things I need to do as a mom. I do it so much regularly now that it gives me a little push, a little bit more umpto to keep on going throughout the week. And so when they do send me home, they're like are you just taking a day to yourself? Yes, a mental day to rest, a break to chill, and a lot of times I end up doing things by myself and I enjoy it.

Reka: 26:50

But what's wrong with that, though? Like to me, no is the most powerful word in your arsenal that you can have. That no, just the answer is no, and I totally agree with Steph. Like, until you first start pouring into yourself, you can't pour into anybody else. Like refill your tank on so many different levels. Like it just feels good to be pampered and I'm a splurge. Like I'm gonna buy me something for me. That's another thing that we don't do. We'll go buy everything for everybody else. We'll make sure that they have clothes, make sure they have the good shoes, they looking good, they put together, and then, when it's time for us, we're like oh snap, I wasn't like that in my 20s. Why I didn't have kids. I was by myself, I was just doing Uh-huh.

Reka: 27:31

And now that I'm a wife, I look for everybody else, and so yeah, I think it's just the role that gets fulfilled.

Stefanie: 27:37

But I also think when it comes to no, when you say no to people, they are so offended and I don't know what that's about Like it has such a negative like no, what do you mean? No, I mean, and it's like you can't be at peace with your no, and I don't know why society has this negative connotation. You're just like no, and then it's like oh, you're being selfish and it's like I'm not being selfish.

Danita: 28:01

It's one of those things where it's like you build your village, the Avengers aren't the Avengers without all of them together. Right, and when you got, when you're trying to be a superwoman and you're trying to do it all, you know you can't do it all without your team, even if your team is just there for moral support, to be like listen, you're on the right track, I'm supporting what you're doing. I'm here with an ear. I'm here with a text message that, just you know, keeps you pumped up.

Reka: 28:32

It's funny how our friends become more of our family than our own family, Meaning know what for us, more than sometimes your own family do. To your point, Danita, when you're saying hey, when no is known, they're like well, I don't understand why you're saying no, it's like no, I don't want to pay to come there for Christmas when I live in Texas, because now I have to pay for five people that's over $1,000 and have a room.

Stefanie: 29:05

Yeah, sometimes as African-American women, that we give too much, we give too much to, but why?

Reka: 29:12

Danita right there. Why, I don't know. I understand. I'll tell you why. Number one, cultural, and then number two, you know, ancestral meaning that we've always had to give so much more to others that it just keep going going. It goes back to that point of like how we eat right, it's like no, I'm not eating chitlins, that was a piece of delicacy, because they said something better. Like I have better, you know better, you do better.

Stefanie: 29:43

You do better, right? So I think that it's while, yet it's cultural and it's ancestral. I also think that we just it's an expectation Other black women hold each other to, the expectation of this hierarchy, of overdoing ourselves to the point where we're killing ourselves and that we don't ever take the time to say, sis, take some time to yourself. Yeah, like, get yourself together.

Reka: 30:08

Even with my kids. I tell them look, gone are the days that I'm cleaning this whole house by myself. Everybody got a role in this house, I don't care what age you are, and everybody going to do their part, play their part. Let me dial it back a little bit. This week I told you guys to take your quiz to find out out of the five. Yeah, which superwoman were you? I could have sworn her. Betty was going to be you, steph.

Danita: 30:30

I knew you were going to say that I was a boss lady. I was thinking that like that's not me. But since I got ridden up at work last week for being hostile, maybe it is me. It's genetic. I mean, listen, as of today, boss lady, angry black woman, bitch, it all in the same category and I'm not mad about it. The problem is, like, what it was saying is that, like you hold a lot of stress in, so you got that belly fat like I got. You know you might have those GI issues because you just hoarded that anxiety of just trying to be in charge and having to lead everything you know so for me I was the same thing and I totally agree.

Reka: 31:15

And I do have those GI issues. My belly is one of the hardest things for me to lose. I will say that, even being married, that we get caught up in, look, get it done, get it done, get it done, get it done, because that's what we're used to doing.

Stefanie: 31:28

We're used to getting shit done when I took the quiz. I am the boss lady and going as I get older, as I'm maturing, listen, it'll get taken care of. When I get taken care of, move on. I'm not about to die over this and normally I get like real hostile, I get really upset. But I'm learning, as in my role of a wife, as a mother, that I don't always want to be the boss. I just have to let things go the way they go and, however the wind blows, we come up and we always end up on top.

Reka: 31:54

As we're coming to the end of this week's episode, let me first think St Gria, steph and D Rock for joining me and having this very authentic and transparent conversation. Next, I would like to offer you these tools, tips and strategies for the week. Number one put you first on your to-do list so you can be centered. Number two embrace the power of no. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Number three lose control. By lose control, I mean let it go. It doesn't always have to be done your way. We only have one life to live. There's no sequel following, so we might as well live this thing to the fullest. You know what they say live, laugh, love. Out of the three of those, love is the greatest, but laughter is medicine for the soul. Well, that is the end of today's show. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did. Don't forget to connect with me on IG at Eat, laugh, hustle and honeys. Remember there's two things that they can't stop, and that's grace in your hustle. Be blessed.