What happens when a hardworking, dedicated mom takes on multifaceted roles at the African-American Chamber of Commerce, the Mayor's Commission on the Status of Women, and also doubles as a Chief Learning Officer? Meet Jae from Jae Elle Consulting, who joins us to share her journey of balancing a stellar career with the joys and challenges of motherhood. Tune in and prepare for the ride as we navigate her path, sprinkled with laughter, as we vibe-check with a fun quiz and share our love for classic TV characters. Jae's story is a compelling reminder of the importance of divine timing, and how detours often rectify deficiencies.
Wrapping up, Jae shares her toolbox for finding balance and flourishing in motherhood - staying organized, making time for self-care, and harnessing the power of affirmations and vision boards. This episode promises to be a testament to the resilience and power of modern moms - you don't want to miss it!
Follow and Connect with Jae Ricks on Instagram.
Don't forget to click the subscribe button.
Connect with me on Instagram at Martini Mamas Podcast.
Are you on the list: Join our Mama Mojo Weekly newsletter for a dose of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.
Sign up now for our exclusive Imposter to Unstopabble freebie and unlock powerful tools to conquer self-doubt, and boost your confidence >>Get it now<<
What happens when a hardworking, dedicated mom takes on multifaceted roles at the African-American Chamber of Commerce, the Mayor's Commission on the Status of Women, and also doubles as a Chief Learning Officer? Meet Jae from Jae Elle Consulting, who joins us to share her journey of balancing a stellar career with the joys and challenges of motherhood. Tune in and prepare for the ride as we navigate her path, sprinkled with laughter, as we vibe-check with a fun quiz and share our love for classic TV characters. Jae's story is a compelling reminder of the importance of divine timing, and how detours often rectify deficiencies.
Wrapping up, Jae shares her toolbox for finding balance and flourishing in motherhood - staying organized, making time for self-care, and harnessing the power of affirmations and vision boards. This episode promises to be a testament to the resilience and power of modern moms - you don't want to miss it!
Follow and Connect with Jae Ricks on Instagram.
Don't forget to click the subscribe button.
Connect with me on Instagram at Martini Mamas Podcast.
Are you on the list: Join our Mama Mojo Weekly newsletter for a dose of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.
Sign up now for our exclusive Imposter to Unstopabble freebie and unlock powerful tools to conquer self-doubt, and boost your confidence >>Get it now<<
What's better than a regular happy hour? How about an ultimate happy hour for moms? Martini Mama's podcast is a weekly hangout for modern mamas to discuss mamahood, work-life balance, blended families and self-care. So whether you're looking for advice, community or a new bestie, you are in the right place. Cheers.
Speaker 2:Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Martini Mama's podcast. Today I am so excited because we actually have a guest in the house. We have Jay from JL Consulting and she does a lot of strategic planning on the side business mentorship and although that's her jam, we wanna know about the woman, the mom behind the brand. So she's gonna come in and talk to us about overcoming some challenges in motherhood while still fulfilling your purpose. Y'all know how I like to say. You had purpose before Pambers. All right, hey, jay.
Speaker 3:Hey, thank you for allowing me to be here today. I'm excited about it. I couldn't wait for this moment. I've been thinking about it ever since we spoke about it, so I've been looking forward to it.
Speaker 2:I really admire all the work you do, especially for women. Before we get into it, let the people know who you are.
Speaker 3:Well, hello, my name is Jennifer Ricks. I go by Jay and yes, I do support with the Mayor's Commission on the Status of Women. I'm the Treasurer and I represent District 2. I'm also the Vice Chair for the African-American Chamber of Commerce, where I do strategic planning there and my day job. Currently I am a Chief Learning Officer and Principal at Essence Prep Public Schools, so I deal with babies every day, kindergarten through fifth grade a mother to some of them on campus.
Speaker 3:Even I do have a daughter. Her name is Savannah. She's six years old. She'll be in first grade this year, six years old, going on 45. So sometimes she likes to think that she's my mother at times, but I love it. I love everything that I do. Like I said, I appreciate you having me on your podcast this morning and I also admire what you do and how you show up as a mother, and I've had the opportunity to be on some panels with you and I can just tell just your passion, just as a mom, and just how seriously you take your role in the purpose that you are following. So thank you.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you Thank you. We have to do better with like accepting our flowers, like I'll be able to hear blood. It's about ready to cry, but anyways, I am passionate about it. Before we get into the goodies, we are going to do a mama's nose best vibe check, all right.
Speaker 3:OK, ok.
Speaker 2:Let's do it All right. So first question If you could be any mom, would you be Claire Hustable from the Cosby Show? Would you be Nikki Parker from the Parkers, or would you be Rochelle from Everybody Hates Chris?
Speaker 3:I think I will probably be. Can I do a combo? I think I'll kind of be like a mix of all of them, like, so Savannah talked a lot like a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, and so I'm trying to do, of course, the whole gentle parenting and making time to listen instead of just not dismissing whatever she has to say, and so really it's not really a line. It's just kind of like, oh OK, how that makes you feel. But I guess really my goal with that is I don't want to make her feel ignored. I can hold myself accountable and say that I do need to be better about making it intentional and not making it sound like I'm brushing her off. So I can't admit that, because I can't say, even with her being sick, there are some moments where she'll share some tea and I'm like, ooh, tell me more. And you're six-year-old. What is happening right now?
Speaker 2:OK. So that gives me a little bit of Nikki Parker there, OK.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm just like you know. And then I have the moments when I'm like girl, if you don't get over there and sit down and get away from me.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, I think we all have those moments, oh, ok. So I see you three. So you got a little bit of Claire, because you're like, ok, I just want a gentle parent, a little bit. You got your Nikki Parker like honey, give it all to me, yeah. And then you got your little Rochelle like girl. I can snatch you right now, I can snatch the soul out of you right now. I love it, I love it, I love it. Our next trivia question this one is a TV show. Ok, and how to get away with murder? Who play Annalise Keaton's mother?
Speaker 3:Ooh, cicely Tyson, yes, yes, yes, who do specifically come through?
Speaker 2:specifically OK, and here's our last one you ready? Yes, ok, undviv one or Undviv two from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Speaker 3:One, one I'm going to have to go with one. Yeah, that Undviv touched my soul. And then Rochelle. Yes, I loved her.
Speaker 3:And all her tactiness and all of that stuff. So when I kept watching and they brought in the second one, I'm not going to lie I was disappointed. Not that she wasn't a great actress or she wasn't good at her craft, it's just, you know, with different people they have different energy, and so it just seemed like there's just a different energy on the show. Yeah, and then you said what did you think? So for which one? For which question? Undviv number one or number two?
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely Undviv number one, and I think because she, like you said, she made it so much more realistic. And. I think we all could kind of like everybody could relate to her, you know, like even though she had class, she had sex. So she kind of met every mom on each level. You know, and I just for me, that's what I like. Yeah, that's just for me. But I get what you're saying. I don't have great charisma. She was a great backup. Let's just say that. Yeah. But, that's kind of hard coming in second.
Speaker 3:Don't you think? Oh, 100 percent, 100 percent for sure.
Speaker 2:Those were some big shoes to feel, but I mean. That lets you know that sometimes you just got to say yes, you don't feel like you are right for the part, or don't you know what I mean? Won't do it justice. She did. She came in and did it justice.
Speaker 3:You know, mom, that you really don't hear much about that. I really like Rainbow Now.
Speaker 2:I love her. I love her too, and her pajama game is like on a thousand. I love all her pajamas, all her clothes, all her style. I actually had her on the list as well, but I was trying to get like a mom that you know had different categories of personality, because I think in many respects she aligns with Claire. She would be like the modern day Claire.
Speaker 3:Mm. Hmm, yeah, and I like her because it goes back to while we're even meeting today. I feel, with her personality is because you have this woman, this black, beautiful black woman who she's an anesthesiologist, she's a doctor, so you know that her job is very taxing. She has multiple kids and she has, you know, her husband and then she has, you know, the in law that's in laws that are living there. So it's like she's trying to balance, like all of these things in her world that's going on and you can see sometimes the challenges that she has in the workplace, being a woman of color, and how she's being treated there and is she showing up the right way for her kids and building those relationships with them. And so I think with her, like she's very relatable. In a sense, it's like how am I balancing all of these challenges that come along with being the woman that I am?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I couldn't agree more and I really liked how they showed everything that went on with her personally, but also the interaction with dealing with the kids, like being emotional, having emotional intelligence to be able to deal with like a lot of the kids issues that's going on. And well, for me it was like our Thursday meeting in the house when the show was on, because my husband was away and so it was just me and the kids at that time in the house and we watched that show religiously and it was just a good family show. Just to hear like their comments behind, like how they would handle it, and then just seeing myself and her, you know like we need more representation matters.
Speaker 2:I was so sad, they took it all Me too.
Speaker 3:I really liked that show.
Speaker 2:Well, I like that you brought that up, because it really leads into my first question, which is what are some of the challenges that you faced in the early stages of motherhood?
Speaker 3:Oh, the early stages, really just wrapping my head around the concept of just being a mom in general, so that, and I breastfed too. And so wrapping my head around, okay, now I'm a mom, I have this tiny human being, you know that I'm in charge of growing, and what am I going to do? What do I do with that? And so it's just waking up the day after day like, oh my gosh, I'm a mom. I'm a mom. So just even internalizing the fact that I was a mother was a challenge for me, and the backstory to that is is that I never had plans to have kids. I was okay with being, you know, a stepmom or not having kids of my own in general. And so when I finally made the decision to be a mom, it's like, okay, you know, I'm going to go in, I'm going to be a mom and I'm going to be good at this, I'm good at everything that I do. So it's almost like this I don't necessarily want to say like a business transaction, but it was almost like just one more thing to be good at, which sounds horrible, I know, but I'm just being honest.
Speaker 3:You know, as I moved along, you know, in the trimesters, and then finally found out the sex and that she was going to be a girl, I bawled Like I cried, I was frustrated, I was upset, and that was just because of things that I had dealt with in my past, and so I really, really wanted a boy. But then, moving forward, it's like, okay, well, god gave you a girl for a reason, so we're going to walk in this journey, we're going to walk in this purpose and we're going to, you know, we're going to make it through. And so when I remember she got here, I held her and started booing in because and I know probably most moms think this is like oh my gosh, she's perfect, she's beautiful, Beautiful, you know. And so just getting in the groove of that and just having to change my thinking and just embracing this new journey that I was on, that was a challenge that I had to take on. And then the second part of that is okay, I'm on a breastfeed. I don't want a bottle feed, that's what I want to do.
Speaker 3:But that became a very big challenge for me because I wasn't producing milk at a rapid rate, like it didn't, it wasn't something that just came natural for me, and so it was like a whole struggle just to you know, pump the milk or to get hurt to feed, and so some for the longest time. And so because of that, I was very frustrated. I would cry, I would get upset, um, and it seemed like she just stayed hungry because I could, because it wasn't coming, and so there were moments where I had to supplement. Then I ended up having to talk to my doctor because when she would latch, it looks like this extreme sadness would just wash over me. And.
Speaker 3:I would cry and I would just get upset and I forgot the term for it.
Speaker 2:Sad nipple syndrome. Wow, I never heard of that before. Holy moly yeah.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I would just get, uh, just a flood of just, you know, a whole of negative emotions and all that kind of stuff and so. But the beauty of that was that feeling, knowing that I wasn't like losing my mind, that it was actually a term for it. So just embracing the whole concept of motherhood and then being able to breastfeed were definitely two of my challenges.
Speaker 2:Let me go back a little bit, because you said so much and so you didn't wanna be a mom and then you decided to be a mom. So when you decided to be a mom, did you do it? The traditional route? Was you in a relationship with someone? Did you do IVF, like how did you get to the point of saying, okay, I wanna be a mom and this is the way I'm gonna do it?
Speaker 3:So I was married at the time and so it was a planned pregnancy. So we knew, okay, this point, I'm gonna get off birth control, we're gonna start trying. And then I even remember when I conceived it was around my birthday, so I remember that and I was like, oh, what's going on with my body right now, like I could feel it like something's different. And I was like, okay, maybe I'm tripping, it's the holidays, maybe it's anxiety, all that kind of stuff. And so then about a month later I was like, yeah, let me go ahead and take these, take this test, see what's going on. And yeah, and I took about two or three of them and it's like, oh, yeah, I'm pregnant, let's do this thing, okay. So then I had to mentally prepare myself for what was coming.
Speaker 2:Did you was the decision not to have kids. I know you said that was something that you decided not to like. You didn't want kids. Was that something discussed before you got married?
Speaker 3:It was yeah, that discussion was there, and it was more so because at that point in time number one I knew the selfishness within me at that point, and so being a parent takes a lot of energy and time that you have to put into another individual, and more so at that time in my life.
Speaker 3:I was not ready for that. I still had a lot of things that I needed to work. I felt like I needed to work on internally a lot of things that, a lot of goals that I needed to reach before I could bring another life into my space. So that was my initial thought, and then it was like you know what? I'm just not, I just don't want to give birth in general, because I was almost, like, afraid of being a parent, and that was more so because of my experience as a child in a very tumultuous household. I didn't really think initially that I would be a good mother until later on, and so it took time for me to get to the space where it was like, okay, you know what, I can be a good mom. Yes, I can hold space for a child. Yes, I can. You know, despite the flaws or whatever it is that I have, I can still raise a good human at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:Like this conversation hits home for me because I was like in that same situation where I didn't want kids and I was actually in the military at the time and I can remember kind of sort of the same feelings of like when I found out that I was pregnant.
Speaker 2:I was on my way to Russia, I was on a ship and I had was just coming back off the leave and we was just getting ready to get back on board to go back out and I found out I was pregnant and I mean the numbness that came over me and it wasn't be. I mean it took some counseling but then I understood, just like you said, that the traumas as a kid will dictate how and the things you want to accomplish in the future. And so because I was made to believe that being pregnant was the worst thing that you could do, it will ruin your life, you couldn't you get you have a baby. You're getting up out of here that type of language, and so that had always stuck with me and put that fear in me of not wanting to have kids. But you look at me now, girl, I'm over here like fertile murder. I got like four of them. I got like four of them.
Speaker 3:And my head is off to you for that, because my one I'm like oh my gosh, how do women do it that have more than one child?
Speaker 2:They are the real superheroes because Okay, so you're going through and I looked it up You're going through sat nipple syndrome, which are abrupt feelings that occurs when nipple stimulation happens, which fun fact can happen for both male and female. Don't know how that happens, but it's the sadness that they describe as anxiety, disgust, anger, just generally negative emotions. And so you recognize that you were going through that, which then you're like you know what your girl's not crazy. I got some feelings and they valid and they're legit, and so then we fast forward. At what point did you say there's more to life than being a model?
Speaker 3:I've always said that and I think that's part of the initial of not wanting kids. Like I've always been very driven, I always knew that I was either going to get my doctorate degree or I was going to be an attorney. I always knew at some point I was going to own a business. I didn't know what it was going to look like, sound like, but I knew that was going to come. I knew that I wanted to serve in church and in the community and that all of these things were going to require a lot of time and attention. And so because of that, I was like you know what I can do all these things. But I can be a mom too.
Speaker 3:And you know, sometimes we allow and I'm gonna say we, as I mean women sometimes we allow society to dictate whether or not we can have it all, or whether or not we can do it all and we can. It's something that definitely takes organization and it takes balance and it takes knowing when to say yes and want to say no. But it can be done and of course, it's easier when you do have a village around you that's able to step in to space and support as needed. But I didn't. To me. It was just you know, something that I knew that I was capable of doing, and I'm just gonna do it.
Speaker 2:So we get to the point where Jay is wanting to do all these things. Tell me how JL Consulting and Evolution comes into play. Like you're balancing a lot, like I think the bigger question then, before we even get to that, is how did you even balance, even saying, okay, I'm about to start this company Cause you do a lot you? Do a lot. Now I'm at the point that you're the chair for the African-American Chamber of Commerce. Like you, do a lot, so how do you balance?
Speaker 3:So I have the birth of JL Consulting. That didn't come until after my daughter was born Her father, we were all living in Virginia at the time and I always knew from the time that I was really young, that I wanted to do something to support women and, more specifically, women of color, centered around empowerment and just the things that a lot of us tend to go through, that we're silent about a lot of times because we have this society, has this whole thing of the strong black woman and not just realizing how toxic that is and I know people try to make it seem like it's this glamorous thing but it's not. It's really not. It's extremely toxic and hard on mental health and physical health. And so I wanted something that was going to address that, and so my first concept was a girls group called She-Roh in the Making, which I'm going to be bringing that back at some point, but it was just really a series of lessons and workshops around supporting young girls of color and letting them know that they are valued and that they are important.
Speaker 3:And then that ultimately evolved into JL Consulting. So I started it when I was on the East Coast, but I didn't really do anything with it. More so because I didn't know anybody there, because I was the military spouse and I was just trying to get all these things together really fast and it wasn't the right timing, and so I ended up having to dissolve the business and then we relocated and in 2020, is COVID. That January is when I in a sense, relaunched JL Consulting, and even then it was very dormant, even though I put it out there because of COVID and because, even still, I had to realize that I was doing it in my timing and not God's timing.
Speaker 2:That's so good right there, jay. That's so good right there because I think so often we do that we get to the point where we think it's our time right. But everything is planned in God's time and I'm learning that the hard way, I promise you. But his timing is impeccable, his strategy and how he gets us to places. We could never be that strategic and I always. This is my new thing of understanding that a detour is just to correct the deficiency so that you can just really, when you get the blessing you know what I mean and you get the position and the spot that you want that you can really thrive in. So we're at COVID and you got your business going and take us through. So now COVID, the whole world shuts down. How are you creating this thriving business?
Speaker 3:Well, it's not thriving. But really that was the moment where I really focused on the planning. I focused on the planning of what I really wanted it to look like. My website changed multiple times, my brand changed multiple times, so that really put things into perspective too, because God was like how are you trying to launch this business? You didn't even settled on a brand. You ain't settled on you know all these kind of things. So now you have to really buckle down and sit in it and work out this plan. So there's definitely a blessing in the BS, because it allowed me to think through okay, what is jail consulting? How do you want women to feel, or people to feel when they come to your website? What does that look like? Who is your target audience? What services are you going to offer and are you really capable of offering those services? Like being committed and dedicated to it? What is your mission and vision for jail consulting? Is that something that you are committed to? Is it aligned with your life and what?
Speaker 2:you're doing In the planning part of it. Did you ever experience any like self doubt or imposter syndrome? Like girl, what you really doing I'm a hundred percent, and I still do.
Speaker 3:Sometimes I have my affirmations, I go to people that I know are reliable and are going to be honest with me and hold me accountable, and I think for me that's the biggest part outside of prayer and just going to God, because I think of Moses.
Speaker 3:You know when he's going and he's been sent to, you know, free the Israelites, and so it's like, and he talks about how he doesn't have the capacity to go and to speak through these things and you know he brings his brother, aaron, along with him and he speaks for him. Sometimes you have to allow other people to be your Aaron and allow people to either speak for you or speak life into you until you can get there and do it yourself. And so I had people that were there, that were, you know, behind me, speaking positivity and to me and just reminding me. You know this, god gave you the gift of this and God gave you the talent of doing this. And you know, sometimes all you got to do is just show up and you know, sometimes you just got to show up, put your staff out there and just let the seat part. You know.
Speaker 3:Yes, my God do what he's going to do. Yeah, let's do what he's going to do. And so that's where a lot of my thinking goes. It's like, ok, I can do this, I can do this. I'm here. God gave me this for a reason. Let me, you know, at night, let me follow my cloud of fire, let me found my cloud in the day. Let me, you know, do all of these things to make sure that I'm headed in the right direction.
Speaker 2:So I think that's one of the biggest things that we struggle with as women, because some of us do. We have that mentality that we can do it all, which we can right, but having the support of network and being able to know your capacity is so important. But also knowing that you just got to show up, and I think that's where we feel that we're like wishing and praying and dreaming for this different life, but we'll let our doubts hold us back and then we want to show up and let God you know, part to see, because we can't even get to the point where we hold in the staff.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, that part you know, so did you. I mean, we're in COVID and I remember being in COVID and you couldn't help but feel isolated. And I was talking on a podcast, maybe a couple of episodes back, and I was saying how I found myself turning into this like introvert, extrovert, that because of COVID I was before I was like, oh, let's do it, I was the go getter. Afterwards I was so used to just being like in my own space with my kids and not leaving the house. It was hard for me to get out and do things. And so that feeling of like, even after COVID I struggled with like isolation and feelings of loneliness. But how do you combat that?
Speaker 3:Definitely so. Most people don't realize that I'm actually very much an introvert. I do very well when I know it's something that I have to get used to and better at to be able to walk in my purpose and the way that I'm supposed to. But when I think of that in terms of motherhood, the way that it shows up for me is because I have a six year old, whereas a lot of the mothers that are around me have number one, they mostly have boys, and I have a girl, and then two, they have kids that are middle school, high school, college age. So they still have the capacity at this point just to move and do different things, because our kids are so much older, whereas I don't. And so it's like man, I need to find other moms that have little girls that are around.
Speaker 3:I don't have a lot of moms to talk to about little girl things because they all have boys. So it does, it kind of puts me on an island by myself sometimes, and so the way that I tend to deal with that is I'll journal, I'll pray, I'll talk to my therapist about it, and then the other part of that is just I just embrace, just spending time with her just being with Savannah and playing or whatever it is that she wants us to do. So I allow her to take the lead on what our days look like together, just to make sure that she is mentally and emotionally fulfilled and that she really understands that, no matter what else I have going on, she's always going to come we strive to have that balance of our kids knowing how much they're loved and they come first.
Speaker 2:But sometimes when you're running a business and starting a business, you can get over consumed and so I've had to put some things in place just to protect them and myself, like pause the electronic and not the person. I can always come back to this, but in those moments I might need to just really sit down and answer your question or talk to you. Another thing I know I had to put in place was like actually giving myself some working hours and making sure that I was in the capacity to mom, Because these kids be kidding. You know what I mean. I think as children grow, their needs change and we do encounter new challenges. I think we evolve as mothers, things that when we first started out mothering, we like girl. I don't know how to get through this. Now it's just like, oh, that's nothing. But I do think it's important that the growth in ourselves, that we recognize it. How do you take time to just be Jay, Not mom, Jay? Not.
Speaker 2:CEO, jay, because you're growing too. You're growing as a mom and I'm always like how do you work back into self?
Speaker 3:I'm very organized to have a schedule, so I have like two boards up here and each day I have my tasks, my schedule, monday through Friday. But even then, you know, I'll get up early, I meditate, I journal, I pray, I work out, I get ready for the day and then, once work is done, each day is designated to something specific, and then the rest of the afternoon is rest daytime, when I want to go read, take myself out to lunch, whatever it is that I want to do. And then on Sundays it's church and rest and family fun, or have you always been this organized?
Speaker 3:No, no, it was something that, well, I can't. Okay, I take that back. Yes, I've always been this organized, but I didn't value that or realize just how important it was until I got to the space that I'm in now, because back then I didn't have as many things to do or I wasn't involved in as many things. But as I got older and I took on, you know, all of these other projects and family and being a mom and being a friend, so even scheduling time or making time for friends, I had to be even more organized than on top of things. Like I said, if it's not on my schedule, if it's not on my calendar, it is not getting done.
Speaker 3:And I know some people tend to frown on that when it comes to like family and friends, because like, oh, you got to scheduling your friends, you got to scheduling your family. Yes, and it's not anything that's personal, it's just anything that I put on my calendar is something that's important to me and it's something that I want to make sure that I designate specific time for to be able to do whatever it is that I need to do. So for me it's like, if it's not on my calendar, it's not important, so that's how I I get you.
Speaker 2:I get you Like, same thing for me, even with the kids. I like to tell the kids like, tell me as soon as you know you wanna do something. Like don't come to me last minute talking about some. I wanna do A, b and C because I'm all life and I'm learning that, because now I have college student and a teenager and a twin and a toddler. Help me, lord. I got him at every level, you know. And so it's being able to find balance, but also being able to find those moments where you can go, network and be a part of the big thing. You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean, like the thing is like I wanna go to this big event and I wanna get dressed up and I wanna do this thing, so girl time should be scheduled. We, like I, have a couple of girlfriends and monthly we try to get together, or quarterly, however, you know whatever's going on in life, but we will get together and say, look, let's get together on this day and do this, and we'll set a place and a time. But I began to look forward to that time because it replenishes you.
Speaker 2:You know, how do you build the confidence back up into your space to know like mama still got it?
Speaker 3:Affirmations, like I'll square by affirmations. But you know it's hard. There are some days where I just I'm just not able to pull myself back up and it just takes a little bit of time and I have to, and I do, I have to call on a friend and or I'll have to pray about it or and just be honest about what it is that I'm thinking and what it is that I'm feeling. And then sometimes it is a matter of you know what, I'm not feeling my best, but I got this bomb dresser here that I didn't put on. I'm gonna put this thing on and put a little bit of face on and some heels and, you know, fake it till I make it, because sometimes that's something that you do have to do. You have to. Even in those moments you don't feel your best. When you start to pretend, like you know, okay, I am feeling good, I am, you know, doing my thing, it actually gets you back into that space of having that confidence.
Speaker 2:Do you do New Year's resolutions?
Speaker 3:I do and I don't. So I used to do New Year's resolutions, but now I've moved toward doing more vision boards or prayer and decree boards. I actually have my prayer and decree board here on my wall. So, for example, I decree that I am blessed because God is on my side. I bless my life. I decree strength, stability and a rich heritage as a child of God. I speak confidence, allowing purity, righteousness and justice to arise in all I do and say and so like I have these, you know, on my wall. Yeah that I see I have my vision board.
Speaker 3:That's my screen saver on my computer and on my phone for this year, and I also pick a word every year. What's your word For this year is abundance. Oh, this year. When I think of that, I think of more abundance when it comes to relationships. So just making sure that I'm building relationships that are sustainable but also are aligned with the direction that I'm heading in. Abundance when it comes to being more thoughtful, when it comes to how I'm spending my money and where that's going, how I'm taking care of myself mentally and emotionally. Am I growing in those areas? Am I growing in motherhood and making sure that I'm providing my daughter with the tools and the things that she needs to grow into. You know the woman that I know she's going to be.
Speaker 2:Well, here's our last question, and that is what piece of advice would you give to a new mama out there?
Speaker 3:Dig the detours and embrace the chaos. And so dig the detours. And it goes back to one of the comments that you made a little earlier about you know, god, sometimes allowing detours to get in our way, and sometimes those detours can be like a quick shortcut to get us where we need to be, and sometimes they can be very long and drawn out. Sometimes there's beautiful scenery, sometimes there's not, but either way, dig the detour, because at the end of it all, you're still going to reach the destination that you had in mind. It's just that sometimes they're just different things that we have to endure and different people that may come into our lives to help us get to where we need to get to. But we just got to go along for the ride, and so that leads into embracing the chaos.
Speaker 3:So along those detours you got constructions, you got all these crazy things that are happening around you. But just remember that these things are happening around you and not to you, because that's life and at the end of the day it sounds morbid, but none of us get out alive anyway. So just embrace what's going on and you know, in your life at this point, just be thankful that you're alive to be able to embrace these moments, these challenges, and just know that at the end of it you'll be a lot stronger, you'll be a lot wiser and you'll have a testimony and a story that you can share with somebody else that's coming behind you, that is looking up to you, even though you may not even realize it.
Speaker 2:I think that is a good note to end on. Tell the people how they can keep up with you, follow you any big things you got coming in up. Let us know what's going on with Jay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you can follow me on LinkedIn, jennifer Ricks. Just type in my name and I'll pop up. You can follow me on Instagram, at jlconsultingcom, and on Facebook as well, at jlconsultingcom. Both of those platforms have links to all my other social media. And then, as far as big things that I have coming up, I do have Volume 1 of a book called Radiant Apprimations, a Powerful Guide to Empower the Souls of Women of Color. So that is something I would definitely say be on the lookout for. I'm excited about it.
Speaker 2:We're going to raise our glasses to detours, digging the detours and embracing the chaos today. Cheers till next week. Cheers, thank you. Well, that is the end of today's show. I hope you enjoyed it. If we're not connected on Instagram, which is my favorite place to hang out, be sure to stop by and say hi at Martini Mama's podcast. Also, if you haven't done so, please follow. Rate and review. Higher ratings and higher reviews mean more dope moms can find us and I keep bringing you fresh mom content. That matters Until next Thursday. Be blessed.