Have you ever felt like the conventional definition of success just doesn't fit your life anymore, especially as a mother? Join us as we unpack the often concept of success and explore the power of discipline, the art of saying no, and the strength that comes from setting boundaries for our well-being. This episode invites you to challenge the status quo, as we discuss the significance of personal growth and mastering new skills over simply ticking off achievements. Inspired by a thought-provoking sermon, we dive into what it means to be a strong version of ourselves, grounded in faith and firm boundaries. We don't just want you to listen; we want you to walk away with a renewed sense of clarity and the courage to align your aspirations with your deepest values.
Embrace the beauty of change and the need for flexibility in this week's conversation. Life's setbacks are not roadblocks, but rather detours that can lead to even greater destinations, and that's something worth raising our glasses to. We toast to the joy found in the journey and the pivotal moments that redefine our successes. Let's impart these redefined measures of success to our children, fostering values that will serve them for a lifetime. Subscribe for more conversations that promise to enlighten, empower, and enrich your life as we redefine what success means to us.
Connect with me on Instagram at Martini Mamas Podcast.
Are you on the list: Join our Mama Mojo Weekly newsletter for a dose of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.
Sign up now for our exclusive Imposter to Unstopabble freebie and unlock powerful tools to conquer self-doubt, and boost your confidence >>Get it now<<
Have you ever felt like the conventional definition of success just doesn't fit your life anymore, especially as a mother? Join us as we unpack the often concept of success and explore the power of discipline, the art of saying no, and the strength that comes from setting boundaries for our well-being. This episode invites you to challenge the status quo, as we discuss the significance of personal growth and mastering new skills over simply ticking off achievements. Inspired by a thought-provoking sermon, we dive into what it means to be a strong version of ourselves, grounded in faith and firm boundaries. We don't just want you to listen; we want you to walk away with a renewed sense of clarity and the courage to align your aspirations with your deepest values.
Embrace the beauty of change and the need for flexibility in this week's conversation. Life's setbacks are not roadblocks, but rather detours that can lead to even greater destinations, and that's something worth raising our glasses to. We toast to the joy found in the journey and the pivotal moments that redefine our successes. Let's impart these redefined measures of success to our children, fostering values that will serve them for a lifetime. Subscribe for more conversations that promise to enlighten, empower, and enrich your life as we redefine what success means to us.
Connect with me on Instagram at Martini Mamas Podcast.
Are you on the list: Join our Mama Mojo Weekly newsletter for a dose of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.
Sign up now for our exclusive Imposter to Unstopabble freebie and unlock powerful tools to conquer self-doubt, and boost your confidence >>Get it now<<
What's better than a regular happy hour? How about an ultimate happy hour for moms? Martini Mama's podcast is a weekly hangout for modern mamas to discuss mamma hood, work, life balance, blended families and self care. So whether you're looking for advice, community or a new bestie, you are in the right place. Cheers.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the Martini Mama's podcast. It is your girl, Riga, and it is all about the poor, both figuratively and literally. I hope you enjoyed last week's episode. Today we're talking about redefining success. What does success look like? What is success to you For me, I love this quote by Winston Churchill.
Speaker 2:It says success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. And I think when it comes to thinking about success, we really get in this habit of wanting to do, do, do, do, do, and then something gets us off track or derails us, and then we feel like we have to start all over instead of just picking up where we left off. And I'm learning that now, when I find that I am inconsistent, I'm not inconsistent because I'm not motivated. I'm inconsistent because I'm not disciplined.
Speaker 2:That was something that I really had to come to grips with. It's not just being disciplined in the action of doing the job or the action of taking care of business. It is being disciplined enough to know, hey, this is not a priority. I need to prioritize my yes, I need to say no. And I think for me, as a mom, a lot of times I feel the need to show up, especially for the kids, in a way where I can balance that a little bit more and not feel guilty. I talked about last week how my beans was on the oven. The kid comes down, wants help, I jump in, my beans start spurning, and just all of the things, when in all actuality I could have just took a pause for the calls and let my teenage son know that his piss-poor planning does not constitute you know what I mean a rush on my part. But no, it's a better way to say that you know and really establishing a timeline for that.
Speaker 2:And so it really had me think about, like, what is success? This last past week in church, the pastor asked what does the strong you look like? And not the strong you depending on you, but the strong you that is leaning on God, the strong you that is disciplined in areas to help you be consistent, and I was just like, oh, oh, okay, like, because, honestly, when we start thinking about being strong, we immediately take that emotion to us, carrying it all the way, us doing all of the things, when, truth be told, that's not what strong is right. That is really just setting yourself up for failure, for burnout, for just stress, which stress leads to low immune system. Then you find yourself sick, then you're hormone. I mean, it's just, it's like a downhill battle for that right.
Speaker 2:I think that when we sit in that question and we ask ourselves, what does the strong you look like, we can take it like a step further and Ask what would the strong you do? The strong you would set boundaries, the strong you would say no. The strong you, you know that it's you're not the source, you're just a vessel. And so really just stepping back and understanding that, although you have Priorities, you still need to take the time to prioritize you. And when I say prioritize you, that's not like a me first before God mentality, that is me and God, we meet up, we have some conversations and you prioritize that conversation To you know, so that you can just be vulnerable.
Speaker 2:And when do we find the time to be volume? I'm just, you know, really honestly just finding a time to just sit in our own thoughts, our own wants, understanding that we, in order to get clear on what we want, in order to really dig into Visualization and all of the things, we have to really sit down and be still so that we can really clarify our personal values, really align our life goals and our career goals With these values. And when we do that, then we start writing, you know, and redefining success at the stage we are now. I think a lot of times we it's that that lot mentality where it's like don't look back, keep, keep your eyes forward and we're steadily pulling from a different season, we're steadily looking back.
Speaker 2:Or we're steadily looking at a societal norms years ago, like, yeah, that was okay, well, my mom did it. But me, like, I'm gonna get the main, I'm gonna hire somebody to do the laundry even for, like, the new year. I just think back how a lot of us we get so stressed. We like we got to have a clean house, the house got to be spotless, like the law, all the laundry has to be done, like we have to do all of the things. And Because we have to do all of the things, you end up burning yourself out, exerting so much energy For what? Like, really for what? And I know we all have our rituals, we all believe in certain things, but I think there is a time and a place where we just need to sit back and see if that thing, if that ritual, if that whatever is still serving us. And as we get into this thing of like redefining success, let's stop thinking about success just from a career standpoint. Let's start thinking about being successful in all areas of our life. You know, put an emphasis on the pursuit of acquiring new skills, the pursuit of involving as a person, instead of relying Spits on specific outcomes and milestones and I think that always has to deal with our mindset and really Letting God work on our mindset we let society dictate our potential Instead of what God's potential and will for us. We're comparing ourselves to that person when they're in their swim lane doing their thing, doing their backstroke, and Shoot like we should be doing a brushstroke. Now we're each doing our own race and we're each going to get to the finish line. It just might, you know, when they say different strokes for different folks, that's what. That's how I feel, like different lanes for different people.
Speaker 2:Now that I'm in this phase of, just like I said last week, being intentional with my non-negotiables, being intentional with my time, prioritizing my yes, I think I need to really sit down and sit with. Well, how do I truly define success and set some realistic, meaningful goals? I think we set these goals, but they're not meaningful. They don't align with our values which, if I'm being all honest, values change as you evolve, your values evolve and you have an appetite for different things. Why not just take the time to see where you are and just be persistent in that?
Speaker 2:I think when you are in a growth season. It's a pruning season and it's a character developing season and you find yourself truly being attacked a lot. You find yourself feeling isolated. But that's a growth, because if you have so many voices coming in, do this, no, don't do that. Can you do this in influencing you that you don't become who you desire, to be Right, it's truly like man, I just wasted my time. And that's another thing.
Speaker 2:We have to get out of the habit of just we got to get out of the habit of tying our achievements to a certain time period, like, if I don't achieve this in this timeframe, then I'm a failure. Like, are you consistent? Are you disciplined? Do you have the skills you know? Like, so we need to make sure that our goals are realistic. We're planning to be millionaires? Great, that's a mindset shift. But realistically, if you're not pulling in a certain amount of income, then no, you're not going to be a millionaire overnight. So, like, really just stepping back and assessing where you are.
Speaker 2:And I think, as I talk about your mindset, I think another thing and redefining success is cultivating a like attitude For gratefulness, just being grateful for where you are, the lessons that's being learned. I struggle with that. I was sitting down and I was kind of jotting down like some achievements I was doing like end of the year review, and as I was doing this end of a year review, I was just like what can I do more of as in, and didn't really sit in the fat and celebrate a lot of the things that I have to do. I've been doing a lot of the things that I had already achieved. It's like I'm always trying to check the next block, that right there let's me know. Like what am I chasing, what am I going after and why am I doing it? And if I'm just doing it to do it for ego purposes, to say, oh, I'm good at that and yeah, my name is here, like is, am I really taking on that servant heart that is one of, like, my personal values, or am I doing it for ego, to feed, you know, to feed my ego, feed my flesh and all of those things. So just being present in this moment, not comparing myself to other people's levels and achievements, and just being right here.
Speaker 2:I was talking to my son the other day and it's funny how you have these amazing conversations with your kids and you're talking to them and as you're talking to them. They are. They like. God is speaking to you through them. I was talking to him about taking the time to understand who he is and not being pressured to have it all together. In that moment, as I'm talking to him, and I see that he's stressing himself and he's, you know, putting all his stress on himself. I'm like don't stress it, don't put so much on you that now that becomes the focal point as opposed to the journey. Instead of appreciating the journey, we put the emphasis on what we're going through and I I'm getting better with that. That's something that.
Speaker 2:I'm working on. I don't know if that's somebody else's testimony, but that is something that I'm working on because your kids learn from you and so you know what are you teaching them. How are you teaching them to navigate success? As we go through this character development and and we are redefining success right, because there's success at every level as you transition and fall to another level, another level of success comes with that. Another character building exercise hashtag you can't have a test without a testimony coming comes into play. Put you right where you need to be.
Speaker 2:The problem is is that we get so focused on the test and the character building exercise that we forget like dang, like that's the, that's the finish line, but we're stuck on the pace we're going. We're stuck in the shoes we're running in, we're stuck in the outfit. Like we start focusing on all of the supplemental stuff instead of focusing on the big goal, which is reaching the finish line. Yeah, I know for myself that it is time to redirect my energy and my priorities in such a way, like I put it on my Instagram the other day, like my work for the year was execute, because sometimes we do so much sewing, so much planning, so much planting but we don't plow. We do all of the things, thinking that you know, we over water, right, we put too much emphasis in an area and we over water the thing and then it dies and then we try to revive that thing and it's just like, yeah, like step away from the plant, like I'm laughing because I am the worst plant person I really am. But if you can understand that, which is sometimes in order for us to grow and evolve, it requires us to take a step back, go back and redefine what that should look like now, in the position that we are in now, and that's how the vision gets clearer and clearer.
Speaker 2:Some people believe, like you visualize it and then you know that's the set plan and it's like no, like be open to pivot, he opens a pivot. Change is inevitable. But when you are just stuck and you are in that stuck mindset of just it has to be this way, that's when you live a very unfulfilled life and you teach your kids you know not flexibility, not being nimble, right, not. You know just going on a journey and enjoying the process. You teach them that it's only one way and that's not right. I would just like to raise a glass this week to redefine the success, to embracing change, pivot and grace, giving ourselves enough grace to know that failure is part of the process and being okay with that. I hope you guys have an amazing week. If you're not subscribed to the podcast, please do Keep bringing you fresh mom content that matters Until next Thursday. Be blessed.