Refill with Reka | A place where Moms Thrive

Tapping into Motherhood: Gifts, Boundaries, and Personal Growth

• Reka

Share episode

Hey Mama! Ever wondered how embracing your unique gifts can enable you to perform to your expectations while teaching your little ones about self-worth? Well, this week, we're raising our martinis to all the phenomenal moms, demonstrating the importance of leveraging our natural abilities and passions to navigate life's roller coaster ride. Introducing "Reel Talk”, our new segment where we unravel hidden messages and deep dive into the ocean of overlooked contexts in our favorite social media quotes.

As the conversation flows, we'll shift our focus to the art of setting boundaries - in motherhood, at work, and in life. When our unique strengths are nurtured, engaging in activities that align with our passions and re-energize our weary spirits is easier. So, let's walk down the path of our exclusive framework, LANE - Listen, Assess, Nurture, and Embrace. Together, we'll discover how to truly listen to ourselves, assess our boundaries, and find ways to nourish the mind, body, and soul. So join us because no one ever said motherhood was a journey best traveled alone.

Text me your favorite quote from the show!

Connect with me on Instagram at Martini Mamas Podcast.

Are you on the list: Join our Mama Mojo Weekly newsletter for a dose of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.

Sign up now for our exclusive Imposter to Unstopabble freebie and unlock powerful tools to conquer self-doubt, and boost your confidence >>Get it now<<

Speaker 1:

What's better than a regular happy hour? How about an ultimate happy hour for moms? Martini Mama's podcast is a weekly hangout for modern mamas to discuss mamma, hood, work-life balance, blended families and self-care. So whether you're looking for advice, community or a new bestie, you are in the right place. Cheers.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to another episode of the Martini Mama's podcast. I'm your host, erica, and today we are raising a glass to all the moms out there who are embracing their unique identity and gifts. Now I know you like say what? Well, today we are going to be breaking it down on a plow to embrace the things that comes naturally, why it's important and how to find fulfillment by being in our own lane. But before we get started, y'all, hey, mama, hey. How was y'all's week, girl?

Speaker 2:

I think this week has just been so amazing because I've just been seeing all the cues around me telling me that I am on the right path, and when you get that signal it just does something to you. So it's like those that instant dopamine just going through your body and you're on this high. But I really was excited because something kind of came to me and I wanted to introduce a new segment called Real Talk, and it's the play on the word R-E-E-L, two R-E-A-L. So Real Talk is just we're going to explore some hidden messages, deeper meetings, often overlooked context lines, and some are our favorite social media quotes, and so I wanted to start this week off by a quote that I heard by Kobe Campbell and y'all. This one just took me back because she said healing is not becoming the best version of ourselves, but healing is letting the worst version of yourself be loved. Omg, that resonated with me so much because I have the tendency to be a perfectionist Hello, is anybody out there like me, girl? And so because of that, when things are out of place, not just physically, but mentally, spiritually I have this thing of just like I want to go into hiding, right. But it's in those moments of vulnerability that you find that, hey, you have to love yourself on your good days and you have to love yourself on your bad days and, more importantly, just give yourself grace for each version you're showing up in. For example, I find myself getting very impatient with the kids or yelling, or something like that. I give myself grace because I'll have the ability to go back and say look, I handled that wrong, I'm sorry. And then regroup and then try again. And I think we need to do more of that, just kind of regrouping and just really thinking about who we are in those moments and learning from them, Instead of letting it be another thing. Another notching and belt for guilt. Another notching and belt for doubt. Another notching and belt for not showing ourself self love, feeling unworthy, not being or exercising compassion, or compassion for ourselves. So Again, healing is not becoming the best version of ourselves, but healing is letting the worst version of yourself be loved, and that is real talk, baby. So let's get onto our episode, though.

Speaker 2:

Why should we embrace our unique gifts? When we embrace our unique gifts, we really tap into being on authentic selves, like you're just showing up fully and boldly as yourself. I think it's also about honoring our individuality and not performing to societal expectations and those comparisons that happens in between moms, whether you're a good mom or a bad mom. A good mom does this, a bad mom does that, and not just adhering to the titles, but just really embracing the way that we look at life, motherhood and just our journey in general. Right, like finding joy in some moments and understanding that you're going to have down moments. It's like how I tell my kids feel what you're going to feel, but don't live there Like your feelings are valid. Another thing is, I think we have to understand that when we are being on authentic selves and in our gifts and we're operating in our zone of genius, we're showing our kids about self-worth and individuality. We're showing them that, hey, you can be quirky, you can be yourself and still thrive and still be strong and still be successful. Not everyone is alike, right? We don't have to be cookie cutter, we don't have to aspire to be this perfect person. We just need to aspire to be our best self by embracing our unique gifts. That inspiration to our children goes deeper. It helps them pursue their passions boldly. Then we're able to really celebrate their strengths, because now we're looking at them for exactly who they are.

Speaker 2:

Lately, that has been my theme that I've been praying on is just Lord, help me show up and be a help, not a hindrance, and also give me the strength and the resilience to persevere through just being myself, just showing up. Sometimes, when you are introvert extrovert meaning like girl I can talk when I get there, but I'm an introvert when it comes to getting me out the door. Honey, because, covid, I have struggled with getting out of the door what happens is is that I shrink in that moment. I need that extra push. But then, when I get there, my unique and natural ability to connect with people is on full display, like the extrovert comes out and it's just a whole thing. I'm learning that when I embrace my gift and don't let other things hold me back and just lean into my natural ability and my passion, I find more motivation and energy to do it again. It also helps me deal with the ups and downs as it relates to pursuing personal goals and aspirations. It's like I have to fall back on that feeling of like okay, we felt that before, girl. Now, what has anybody ever experienced that you find yourself in those moments at a halted like oh my God, like dreading it, but then you get there and it's like the best experience. Oh, child, it is a whole thing.

Speaker 2:

Another thing, I think when we take the time to understand who we are and show up as that person, we are so much more impactful and I'm not just talking about you're impactful for your family, I'm talking about beyond that. I mean you truly then have the power to inspire and uplift the people around you and it just comes naturally Like I think some people do walk into rooms and it brightens up or the tone changes. And that's not just in business, but I think in our homes too. We have the ability to dictate the tone in our home. We just have to be mindful that energy is real and we set the tones wherever we go, good or bad, be mindful of that, good or bad.

Speaker 2:

And then I would say lastly on here because I wanted to give my top five reasons why we're embracing our unique gifts, because it allows us to prioritize ourselves and nurture our own well-being. Like when we embracing our own self, our own gifts, and really mastering our strengths, staying in that zone of genius, you wanna do it more, you wanna take care of it more and I think we start to engage in activities that are aligned with our strengths and our passions. Like we have the ability to recharge and replenish our energy because we are, we're in the space of like joy. You know what I mean. Like that thing is just giving what it needs to give. And then, once you are in a space of like, this feels good, your creativity is there, productivity is there, you're doing all of the things If we focus more on operating in our zone in genius and motherhood and in business, because the two you can thrive in both right.

Speaker 2:

So in motherhood, when we are being the mom who is leading with resilience and compassion, then we're teaching our kids how to lead with resilience and compassion. When we're at work and we're dealing with colleagues and you know our bosses and we're still operating in a space of resilience and compassion and understanding, then you know that's what you become known for, and not that you become a pushover, but it enables you to set boundaries around what you're gonna take and what you're not gonna take. You know, like that's the thing I think it's about being able to set healthy boundaries around the person you are, and you only do that if you know who you are, you embrace who you are and you authentically show up as that person. If I'm being honest, also, it helps people know who they're dealing with. Right, when you show up as a person and you have your boundaries set, you know like I mean, I think we've all met that person but, like girl, you know you can't go all such and such with that like, you don't be dealing with that Like, because that person has set that boundary for that. We have to begin to do that at work and at home.

Speaker 2:

To talk about this framework of Lane and Lane is a tool that I created. You know I always like words y'all so Lane is the acronym that I created to help moms reconnect with themselves and prioritize their wellbeing operating in your own lane and so Lane breaks down to be listen, assess, nurture and embrace. What does it mean to really listen? When I say listen, I'm not talking about listen to outside voices. I'm talking about listening to your inner voice.

Speaker 2:

As moms, we get so caught up in the day-to-day things and demands of motherhood and making sure that everything is going right with everyone else, we seldomly take the time to really sit down and pause, reflect and actively listen to our thoughts and dreams. I mean, it's as simple as like okay, I'm a set alarm for five minutes and I am just going to write down all the things that bring me joy, or what is the best moment of my day, what's passion to me now, lately, cause we all evolve and grow and so I expect that to change for you, but you should be able to really you know, like close your eyes and get into that thought, write it down. I say, do it in quiet, because your inner voice is very loud. People don't believe that, but it's the truth. Your inner voice is very loud. Even will you find yourself in a midst of having a thought. You can ramble when it comes to your inner thoughts as well.

Speaker 2:

The next thing I want you to think about is, after you have listened to your inner voice, I want you to access your priorities and your boundaries. I mean for real. If you haven't set boundaries in motherhood, what are some ways that we can assess your boundaries? By looking at everything that's on your calendar. Girl, are you over committing to things? Is your calendar filled up with more kids stuff and not you stuff? Do you have a lot of things on your calendar that is a lot of work, but you don't have anything that's in there that deals exactly with your gift? What brings you joy? Your passion, remember your work is a skill set. Your gift is something that naturally comes to you and through you. Are your values aligned? Are you establishing clear boundaries to protect your time, your energy and your personal well-being? That is a you know. Self-preservation is a thing you have to take care of self, and now that you have listened to your inner voice, you assessed if I had healthy boundaries set. You know I am seeing if I need to do more, establish more parameters around protecting my time, my energy and my personal well-being. Now you need to get on to nurturing your mind, your body and your soul. And how do we do that by putting those activities in place where you are less developed in.

Speaker 2:

You know that I have the tendency to spaz out and you might want to, you know, incorporate a mental health. You might want to do, say it's your body. You're like, look, I have put on a few pounds. I know it's not just. You know, healthy for me. And when I say healthy, I'm not saying healthy in a sense of how I look. Healthy ends in how I feel. I'm sluggish, I'm feeling pain in my knees, my back been hurting lately. Then you need to go ahead and put a routine maybe stretching, maybe scheduling an appointment with a doctor to get a referral, get your labs drawn, making sure everything is good. Maybe getting a referral to go to the chiropractor, maybe scheduling a massage, maybe stretching, doing yoga.

Speaker 2:

And then if you're feeling like always confused I'm always over the thought like don't have clarity, then maybe you need to sit down and really have a conversation with God and ask Him Lord, order my choices and my steps. That's Jeremiah, it's 1911, y'all Like he wants to prosper you, not harm you, and God is not a God of confusion. So when you don't have clarity, when you're all over the place, you need to set yourself apart so that you can really sit down, hear from God and take the time to hear. So often we pray, we do all of the things, but when we don't take the time just to cut off everything, be still and just sit, sit in our thoughts, sit in what we just read, and sometimes it's in our reading that God speaks to us. So the last thing is E Embrace, just truly embracing who you are Like. When we say embrace, I'm talking about embrace, the self-discovery journey, like it's not bad all the time. Think about your kids' laughter, the jokes For me.

Speaker 2:

I sat down and I was looking at like some family pictures from vacation and I was so happy that I took the pictures. And so my husband was like, oh man, you got to send me some of those pictures and I started funneling them over to him and he was just like, wow, I'm so happy you took the time to take the pictures, but in a moment of me taking the pictures, you know everybody's like I gotta take the pictures, why not? But then when we sit back and we look back over like what actually happened and it becomes a memory, we can enjoy it. And so I say do that thing Sit back, look over all the memories that you have had just in life, your successes, and enjoy it.

Speaker 2:

I was out at a networking event and I was talking to a young lady there and we were chatting it up. But she was talking to me about wins and you know, we was just thinking about how we all, from September on, just felt like we were in a season of do over and clarity and just kind of going back to the drawing board and I was like, yeah, she's like I started to doubt myself. And she says, so I started this wind jar. And I was like what? And she says every time she gets a win, she writes it down with a date and throws it in a jar. On those days when she is feeling like a little self doubt creeping in, she says I read those things like, girl, I did do that and I did. You know, it's like that, giving yourself the personal pet talk of the things that you accomplished and I thought that was really good to bring that all together.

Speaker 2:

Remember this lane framework the listen, assess, nurture and embrace as you go on this path of rediscovering who you are in this season as a mom, finding balance and reclaiming your identity and prioritizing your own well being. Remember, when you embrace your unique gifts, you're not only being a role model for your kids, but you're also taking the time to push towards your goals. Your dreams are worthy of the pursuit. Well, that is the end of today's show. I hope you enjoyed it. If we're not connected on Instagram, which is my favorite place to hang out, be sure to stop by and say hi at martini mama's podcast. Also, if you haven't done so, please follow, rate and review. Higher ratings and higher reviews mean more dope moms can find us and I keep bringing you fresh mom content. That matters Until next Thursday. Be blessed.